Cube Drone First 75 Comics


#1

The first 75 Cube Drone comics are funny, but the art is so bad that I’m gonna force you to dig a little bit to read them.

But here you are!


#2

Requirements Gathering

I wrote this in 2011, when I worked at Telus.


#3

Meeting Sabotage

I had a ‘supervisor’ who, talented at harnessing the CYA culture at Telus, would try to prevent work by seeking perfect consensus, dooming his employees to interminable meetings.

I wrote this comic after attending a meeting that lasted, and I say this without exaggeration, a full week. 9-5, every day, for an entire week, one monstrous meeting.


#4

Leaderocity: The Speed of Change

Myers-Briggs is astrology rebranded for the corporate age. I wrote this at TELUS, but that was the second time I’d been strongly encouraged to take a personality test at work - the first time was at Research in Motion. This was back in 2008, when RIM (now “BlackBerry”) was culturally relevant, but declining.

When I worked at iQMetrix, they pulled something similar, and I quietly sent this comic to one or two co-workers. Unfortunately, it circulated, and I ended up getting reprimanded for my disrespectful attitude towards office divination.


#5

Estimation

I never really got the hang of estimation - but the point of the comic is that it doesn’t matter, because salespeople are twats.


#6

Elevator

I wrote this shortly after joining iQMetrix in 2012. We were in the PWC building (they still are) at Waterfront, near Coal Harbour, in Vancouver. I think we were the only tech company in the entire building. The place was a magnet for suits.


#7

Nyan Nyan

We occupied our entire floor of the building, and control of the radio outside of the elevators was handled by a web service. A web service that was frequently abused to play silly songs.


#8

Tap Dat Keg

An office keg seems like a cool idea, but honestly I could never really muster enough fortitude to drink a pint at lunch and remain productive. I don’t think I’m smart enough to drink and code, and the Ballmer Peak never really materialized for me.

On the other hand, I could comfortably power through four or five Keurig coffee pods in a day. Take that, environment.


#9

Poom

I sat next to a guy that we all called “Scooter”, because he was a co-op and also because he rode a scooter to work.

Scooter had a lot of energy and was an excellent coder. He never blew up a single thing. But that’s where the comic diverges from real life, because the thought of having one of the characters be destructively incompetent made me happy.


#10

ISTC 5500

I kinda thought that starting someone off with the oldest, most esoteric computer I could find would be funny.

I thought wrong.


#11

Nothing Happens

This whole comic was here just to set up a joke in the next comic. If I wrote this today, I’d include the set-up and punchline in the SAME comic, but I was not so good at that in 2012.

Also: I end a lot of conversations this way in real life. CURTIS AWAY!


#12

Cheshire Grin

Still working on the same punchline. We’ll get there yet, 2012 Curtis. We’ll get there yet.


#13

The King of Laptops

I still think this is pretty funny.


#14

He is Very Strange

Before I made Cube Drone, I was working on a longer-form comic where Lain was going to be the main character. She was going to be a teenaged girl who learned that computer programming was actually how magic worked, sort of like a less overtly evil Laundry Files. I didn’t have the art skills, the writing skills, or the patience to make it work, though - but I wanted to keep the character design.


#15

Sleuthing

I really struggled to design stickers for Cube Drone when I could have just used that “POWERED BY UNICORN FARTS” logo from this shirt. I’d want that as a sticker.


#16

Diablo 3

I was trying to keep to a schedule, but I wasn’t very good at it. That’s… nothing new.


#17

Further Sleuthing

My Telecoms friends didn’t appreciate this jab. Also my Java friends.


#18

Sparky

And nobody ever called him by his real name ever again.


#19

MILOSLAV

Why does Miloslav have pink skin when everybody else has white skin? I do not know. It was something that needed to change, though.


#20

Warbeard The Mighty

This team’s ops guy is long suffering.