Cube Drone


#7

On Point Project Management



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Walt: So, what he’s saying is that, on account of we’re on schedule to deliver the project in September, the deadline has been moved to July. |
Walt: This is a transparent attempt to extract more work hours from you. It’s bullshit. Keep doing what you’re doing and I’ll handle the flak. |
Walt: Also, in an attempt to diversify our volume synergies, our bottom floor will now be a Pinkberry.


#8

Pinkberry



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Cube Drone is angrily eating a pinkberry iced-cream.


#9

Django Joke

Garfield is love, Garfield is life

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A character that looks a great deal like Jon (from the hit comic Garfield) is reading the documentation for Django’s models. |
He gets to the chapter on CharField |
Jon yells ‘Charfield!’


#10

The Pot Calling the Kettle a Glass House



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Walt: Another woman in gaming has been driven out of her house by anonymous threats.
Lain: That’s terrible. |
Walt: It’s a good thing that women in programming don’t have to deal with that kind of horrible sexism. Right Lain? |
Lain is just glaring at Walt.
Walt: … right, Lain?


#11

Open Mouth Insert Foot



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Walt (to Lain): But you’re not a real developer, you’re a web designer. |
Lain says nothing |
Lain falls over, revealing that she was nothing but a cardboard cut-out the entire time.


#12

Marquis de Marquee


If you’re interested in the whole story behind the King of the Internet and you have access to the Secret Archives, you can learn more about this weird comic here.

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Guy 1: Our HTMLs need punch! |
Guy 2: Bring me the president of the internet! |
President of the Internet: I declare that we need more marquee tags! |
Guy 1 and 2: High fives! |
Later: Guy 1: I feel like tacos! |
Guy 2: Well you look like tacos too! |
Guy 1 and 2: Highest of fives!


Cube Drone B-Sides and Rarities
#13

Undocumented Options



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Cube Drone typing into a terminal: tail --literal |
looking behind his computer, he notices that his computer has grown a raccoon tail |
cat --literal


#14

Continuous Frustration



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Cube Drone (on his laptop): I need the build to finish so that I can push my changes! |
Cube Drone: Gah! Someone else pushed their changes first! Uuuuugh! |
Cube Drone pulls a fire alarm


#15

Artists are Strange



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Lain: My new markers arrived in the mail! |
Lain: Marker dance party! |
Cube Drone: The things that make artists happy never cease to amaze me.


#16

Don’t Go Chasing Waterfall



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CEO: Our client has decided to use agile, but you have to agree on all of your tasks ahead of time. |
CEO: …and deliver them by a fixed date. |
Walt: That’s just waterfall.
CEO: Nonsense. Now if you could get to work making a detailed chart of project dependencies…


#17

Perks



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Walt: Attention, everyone! Word around the office is that you guys want some kind of trendy coffee solution, like a pourover or espresso machine. |
Walt: Of course, this company isn’t just about chasing trends - it’s also about predicting them - which is why what I bought you is great! It has all of the old-fashioned charm of a pourover and the great taste of well-made joe. |
Cube-Drone: He bought us a percolator?
Miloslav: Almost certainly.


#18

Vancouver is a Dreary Place



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Frame 1: Cube Drone is sitting in his office.
| Cube Drone: It’s so dreary in here. I should go outside more.
| Frame 2: Vancouver, in all of its dark, rainy glory.
| Frame 3: Cube Drone in office again.
| Cube Drone: Actually, no.


#19

Chaos Incarnate



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Frame 1: Cube Drone is talking to Milo
| Cube Drone: Yeah, Netflix’s Chaos Monkey concept - killing services at random to test your distributed systems - it’s a cool idea.
| Frame 2: Milo: And that’s why we have a co-op student.
| Frame 3: Sparky enters the frame.
| Sparky: Guys, I’m not sure how a DELETE statement works in SQL, but I think I did something bad.


#20

Ingenuity of Sorts



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The year is 2038. StackOverflow has become sentient.
All it does is deliver strong shocks to coders who use tabs and spaces interchangeably.
It started by trying to shock any remaining PHP coders.
But most of them quickly decided that the shocks were just another feature of the language.
When the shocks stopped, 3 PHP coders filed complaints,
claiming that they had built critical functionality that depended on the periodic free electricity.


Cube Drone B-Sides and Rarities
#21

Conference Talks - shrimp.js



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First frame: (Cube Drone is giving a presentation)
| Cube Drone: Before I begin my talk, I’d like to draw some attention to the gentleman with the red hat in the third row, who was right in front of me at lunch.
| Second frame: (On the presentation screen is a picture of a man in a red hat, holding a shrimp with some tongs.)
| Cube Drone: Pictured here, carefully, with surgical precision, taking every last shrimp from the shrimp and noodle tray.
| Third frame: (Cube drone is visibly angry)
| Cube Drone: You violated a social contract and left naught but a bereft, shrimpless mass of noodles in your wake. For shame.


#22

Conference Talks - Sparky’s First Talk



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The only three presentations that junior programmers ever give:
| First frame: (Sparky stands on a podium, giving a presentation) ‘Unit Testing: How Does it Work?’,
| Second frame: ‘Code Style: Tabs vs Spaces vs Neither, Where to Put The Curly Brace, The More Trivial the Better’,
| Third frame: ‘Why My Code is Self Documenting, But Your Code Needs Comments, Examples, a Glossary and a Tutorial’


#23

Conference Talks - The Bad Presenter



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A chubby man is delivering a presentation.
| First frame: I’m just going to need a moment to get this Powerpoint '02 file to open on the presentation MacBook,
| Second frame: Oh no, my demo seems to require VPN access. Let’s get that going.
| Third frame: My podium has gone astray


#24

Conference Talks - You Talkin’ Bout My Pipes?



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Miloslav is delivering a presentation.
| First frame: Let’s talk about the Gulp build tool. A lot of you Javascripters are discovering that it is a lot more efficient to pass data from task to task rather than writing to disk between each step.
| Second frame: Or Akka Actors in Scala. Concurrency sure is simpler to manage with non-shared memory and immutable messages, huh? Ok, with that, let’s begin.
| Third frame: (He waves at his presentation title) Processes & Pipes: They’ve been in Unix for like 40 goddamn years.


#25

Texting in the Rain



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First frame: Walt, texting to Cube Drone: How is the conference going? Are you guys having fun?
| Second frame: Cube drone, in the rain: Agh, this capacitative touch screen is not handling the rain well.
| Third frame: Walt, reading the response from Cube Drone: Yeah its totalln awesomr wert having a grrr flrgmbbbbb


#26

Conference Talks - Everybody Hates PowerPoint



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First frame: Woman: I’m not using slides, so if you could follow along in my text editor…
| Second frame: Man: My slides are just one giant image, so I’m going to scroll around as I talk.
| Third frame: Greasier-looking man: You’re all holding a printed version of my slides, which also double as a flipbook.
| Fourth frame: Nerd: My slides are projected on to a four-dimensional tesseract.