The Output Problem
Spokesman: Soylent optimized our human experience, replacing the inconvenience of food with pure chalky, vanilla-scented productivity. Our office-integrated hydroshock shower can clean an entire workforce in under 45 seconds.
Spokesman: Saving you minutes a week with only slightly increased chance of embolism.
Voice from crowd: What about excretion?
Spokesman: We’re still working on it, but we had the boys in the lab whip up a new prototype.
The Spokesman moves from behind the podium, revealing that he is wearing giant pants that are laden with jars and hoses.
Spokesman: You would not believe what I can do in these pants.